Great Expectations: May 2014

 

May is undoubtedly going to be the best movie month of the summer, and I can't wait to see what's in store! Of course, whichever month contains X-Men Days of Future Past is sure to top my list for 2014. I cannot wait for that freakin movie! The X-Men are my favorites, for sure. I mean, I like what Disney has going with Marvel, and Batman is my favorite superhero (singular), but the X-Men are just so cool! Just think how good they could be if Wolverine wasn't holding the entire franchise back! You are getting a lot of exclamation marks from me today!!!

 

The only thing that might be a problem with the new X-Men film is the fact that Ellen Paige has come out of the closet. She is one of the cutest people ever created, and I will surely be saddened by the fact that she can never be mine (although I'm happy with my fiancé and all).

 

Here's a look at what you should check out at your theater in May...

 

The Double

(May 9)



 

 

Godzilla

(May 16)

 

 

X-Men: Days of Future Past

(May 23)

 

 

A Million Ways to Die in the West

(May 30)

Summer Preview: 2014

The summer movie season is fast approaching, and, as always, I'll be covering the biggest blockbusters of 2014, all summer long! Just so you know, I consider summer films to be any films released from May to August. Sure, some films don't have that big, summer-movie feel, but, regardless of what movie you are watching, if you sweat after leaving the theater, it's summertime. So, take a look at my lists of expectations, below, which include my expectations for films' financial success and my expectations for films entertainment success. The films are in no specific order, with regard to their respective categories. Let me know if I left off one that you are really looking forward to! Enjoy the summer of 2014!!!

 

Big Winners ($)

 

X-Men: Days of Future Past

 

Guardians of the Galaxy

  

The Fault in Our Stars

How to Train Your Dragon 2

Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

Big Losers (-$)

 

Million Dollar Arm

 

Sex Tape

Earth to Echo

Jupiter Ascending

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

 

 

 

Most Anticipated Dramatic Films

 

The Fault in Our Stars

 

Get on Up

 

X-Men: Days of Future Past

 

Godzilla

 

The Double

 

 

Most Anticipated Comedic Films

 

22 Jump Street

 

A Million Ways to Die in the West

 

Wish I Was Here

 

 

Films I'll Steer Clear Of

Blended

Maleficent

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Jupiter Ascending

Night Moves

Earth to Echo

Hercules

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Expendables 3

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For



Bad Words

Expectations:
You show me a funny child actor, and I will probably watch your movie... You show me a funny, Indian child actor, and I will probably long for you movie! Before I even watched Bad Words, I knew that Rohan Chand's role as Jason Bateman's 10 year old best friend would probably keep me laughing. If you haven't seen the trailer for Bad Words, watch it here, and take note of the hilarity of Chand's Chaitanya. Nevertheless, the idea behind the film is just so clever, and I hoped that Jason Bateman's directorial debut would deliver on the clever story. In my opinion, Bateman is one of those unfunny funny-guys, who always picks perfect roles for their talents (also see: Paul Rudd, John Stewart). I love Bateman films, but I just don't think he is that funny. Hopefully I'm not the only one who sees him in this way, but, if I am, just trust me...

Plot:
Unfortunately, the potentially clever storyline was quite scattered, and the film couldn't quite figure out which direction to go. At times, there was a lot of emotion and father-drama. At times, there was a lot of goofy, PG-13ish comedy. At times, Bateman was cursing like a sailor, which felt more R-rated, for sure. If only they had focused in on one type of comedy, then the film probably would have been great. Thankfully, Chand and Bateman were still able to deliver a number of laughs and, somehow, salvage what could have been a disastrous film. Hopefully, in the future, Bateman will get a little more organized. The screenplay involved a large number of hilarious moments, but they were just thrown together, which really hurt the film. From beginning to end, everything felt so random, and some scenes felt quite useless.

Characters:
As I said above, Jason Bateman is in a unique realm of comedy (to me at least), and, in Bad Words, he didn't shift away from his typical performance. He was good for the role, and the role was funny. However, he contributed very little to the funny. He just read his lines in his normal way and BOOM! he got paid!

Negatives:
I first fell in love with Kathryn Hahn in the very underappreciated Wanderlust, where she showed just how crazy she could be. Throw in her performances in We're the Millers, The Dictator, and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and you have someone who could quickly become the next Melissa McCarthy, in my opinion. Unfortunately, considering she didn't make me laugh not a single time in Bad Words, she's going to have to wait a little while longer before garnering that Melissa McCarthy award. I know her character, Jenny Widgeon, wasn't designed to be as goofily funny as a typical Hahn character, but there were times when she was trying to be funny and the laughs did not come. On top of the Hahn disappointment were two big disappointments from Allison Janney, who's Dr. Deagan was forced into the film, and Ben Falcone, who's Pete Fowler was never given the opportunity to make me laugh. So much talent was wasted on this film! It is just sad!

Positives:
Rohan Chand's Chaitanya Chopra made me want to go out and adopt a random Indian kid, immediately. He had to be the cutest kid ever, and his dorkiness just made everything even better, since I aspire to have dorky children. Without Chand, Bad Words fails miserably, and, when I say miserably, I mean it. Bateman may have been the lead, but Chand carries the film further than Bateman has ever carried anything.

Conclusion:
While Jason Bateman's directorial debut did struggle along a good bit, it was a great film for him to give it a try. However, if the scattered nature of Bad Words is not improved upon greatly, Bateman should probably just stick with acting. Thankfully, we do get Horrible Bosses 2 this year! If you haven't seen Horrible Bosses, please go watch it immediately! If you want random laughter, you might really enjoy Bad Words. I just prefer a good, organized storyline, and Bad Words has nothing even close to that. Regardless, kudos are much deserved for Rohan Chand, and I certainly hope that the youngster continues to shine in the future. I give Bad Words 2.03 out of 5 stars.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Expectations:
Not only is Captain America the "First Avenger," but he is also the "Best Avenger"! There is no doubt in my mind that the first Captain America film was the best pre-Avengers Marvel flick, and I was hoping that Captain America: The Winter Soldier could follow that up and become the best of Marvel's "Phase 2" films. Unfortunately, many of the plot details for the film were under wraps, so I wasn't quite certain what to expect. At the same time, it is quite nice that Marvel now has the power to hold in the big secrets of the films. In fact, that power is what made everyone trip over the big twists in Iron Man 3, which may have inflated expectations for The Winter Soldier. Anywho, my expectations were high, because of the greatness that was The First Avenger...

Plot:
The end of mindless superhero films may be fast-approaching, as evident by the BLATANT political themes presented in The Winter Soldier. In case you didn't know, Obama is watching you, and he is going to destroy you because Robert Redford said so! And Rob Red is the man!!! However, on Captain America's (Chris Evans) end, there were just a few too many things going on for him to really be making a political statement. Black Widow's (Scarlett Johanssonn) continual need to be insignificantly significant took up an unnecessary amount of screen time, and, in the end, the film probably should have been titled Captain America: S.H.I.E.L.D. & Friends. The film wasn't a total bust, but I truly believe it had great potential. At one point, the trusting, old-fashioned Captain had a moment where he didn't know who was with/against him. That moment was probably the most intense Marvel moment ever! Unfortunately, in less than five minutes, he figured out who to trust again, which left me disappointed at what could have been. Even with this disappointment, the action was absolutely great, and Cap had no problem with anybody he faced.

Characters:
As a result of the numerous storylines, there were waaaay too many characters for any non-Avengers film. Like I said, Captain America is THE MAN! Why would you want to be distracted by minor characters? The answer to that question can probably be found in the fact that The Avengers: Age of Ultron needed a lead-in, which is quite unfortunate.

Negatives:
Hayley Atwell was absolutely amazing in The First Avenger, but there was no need for her Peggy Carter to show up, ever again. Captain America seemed to be moving forward and accepting the 21st century, eliminating the need to bring his past back into the picture. Additionally, Toby Jones's Dr. Arnim Zola was awkwardly brought back into the picture, although he was a bit more necessary, in the grand scheme of things. Although Robert Redford's Alexander Pierce was quite important to the storyline, he was the one significant character that I did not care for, but hopefully you will like him!

Positives:
My main man Danny Pudi had an extremely short appearance as some sort of computer guy, and I just wanted to be sure to give him a shout out. Without him, Community would no longer be on the air and no one would know what the term "butt-dial" means (look it up... he was the first to say it). New to the Captain America crew, Anthony Mackie's Sam Wilson/Falcon was a fun addition to the film, and I truly hope that people reward Mackie with larger roles in the future. Finally (and I never thought I would say this), Cobie Smulders' Maria Hill actually fit in quite well with the rest of the cast. Her short time on screen was quite significant, and she nearly redeemed herself for being the only negative in The Avengers... but not quite.

Conclusion:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier was a great Marvel film, but it could have been so much better. There was just waaaay too much going on, which greatly scattered the focus of the film. Really, Captain America had very little riding on the outcome of the film. Instead, S.H.I.E.L.D. and Black Widow took center stage, which would have been fine, if they didn't already have an entire TV show dedicated to S.H.I.E.L.D. Additionally, if Black Widow could have had her own film, instead of showing up in others over and over and over, neither Iron Man nor Captain America would have had to worry about her. Regardless, I would certainly suggest that you check out The Winter Soldier, especially if you like to keep up with the events of the Marvel universe. You miss this one, and you might as well skip The Avengers: Age of Ultron. I give Captain America: The Winter Soldier 2.99 out of 5 stars.

Noah

Expectations:
As we begin, I would like to state my view on the whole "biblical movie" issue that has enveloped Noah, over the past few months. Prepare to possibly have your fears and expectations blown out of the water. 1) Movies are 100% man-made stories. They are written by men. They are directed by men. They are acted out by men. Men, men, men! 2) The Bible is the inspired Word of the God of everything under the sun! Now, let me ask you a question... Which of the two descriptions above do you expect would be a little more "biblical"? Honestly, come on, people! I am a God-fearing, dedicated Christ-follower, who reads his Bible, goes to church, prays, and tries to live his life according to God's will. Do you really think that I am going to take the time out of my day to argue the biblical inaccuracies of a MOVIE about Noah?!? NO!!! Because it's a MOVIE!!! A movie that features Russell Crowe (Gladiator), Emma Watson (The Bling Ring), and Anthony Hopkins (The Silence of the Lambs). I don't know about you, but I don't see any of them becoming the next Billy Graham (not a judgment of their personal character). In fact, if Billy Graham ever made a movie about Noah, there would likely be some inaccuracies! Because, you see, no matter the amount of money or CGI, it's hard to recreate a story that was originally written by Almighty God...

Also, I expected the movie be pretty freakin awesome...

Plot:
I must say that Noah baffled me a bit. While I wasn't offended or shocked by the way the story was approached, I do believe I would have enjoyed the film a lot more had it relied more on the traditional story and steered clear of the fantasy elements. In my opinion, a flood that wipes out almost all of humanity is dramatic enough that there is really no need for magic fire-rocks and angel-rock-monster-people. To me, there was just a bit too much excess. I may sound like I'm on repeat, but the story of Noah is so over-the-top, in the first place. Additionally, the biblical portrayal of Noah is so cool. Why would you want to unnecessarily complicate that great story? Again, I'm not arguing that I wished it was biblical for the sake of being biblical. I just think it would have made for a better story. It just didn't have that "coolness" that I expected from the trailer. Instead, I felt like I was watching Clash of Waters. On top of that, Noah was changed from a man of endearing faith to a man who couldn't overcome his human nature, which isn't the moral of the story (at least not from my perspective). I just don't know...

Characters:
This cast was quite star-studded. To go along with the aforementioned Crowe, Watson, and Hopkins, Noah also featured Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, and Logan Lerman. As expected with such a great cast, the acting was spot-on, which was quite refreshing. However, I didn't enjoy all of the characters, particularly Noah, who ate up the most screen time.

Negatives:
Darren Aronofsky's portrayal of the character of Noah was really what sent the film down the wrong path, in my opinion. Crowe's performance was great, but I just couldn't stand the character. I can't go into too many details here, without giving the plot away, so I will stop. Nevertheless, I was not impressed with this version of the Noah character.

Positives:
Jennifer Connelly was undoubtedly the hottest B.C. character to ever pass in front of these 22 year old eyes. She out-hotted Emma Watson in this one, which is quite a feat! On top of that, her performance was great! Without her awesome performance, the film would have been about 10 times more unbearable. Also, I enjoyed the humor that Anthony Hopkins' Methuselah brought to the table. Of course, I didn't enjoy his magic powers or whatever, but at least I got to laugh about his coveted berries.

Conclusion:
Thankfully, Noah was much more bearable than Evan Almighty, and Jennifer Connelly was spot-on (and smoking hot). Unfortunately, that's where the positives stopped for me. I know I've talked about a number of issues above, but let me give you the key to my disappointment... You ready?... You Sure?... Alright... The key to my disappointment is... THE TRAILER! If Noah hadn't been sold as this portrayal of a nice man of faith who was willing to take abuse from his axe-carrying neighbors, then maybe that's not what I would have been expecting! If I had just seen one rock-monster in the trailer, I might have gone into the film with completely different expectations. Did I expect total biblical accuracy?... No. However, I didn't expect rock-monsters... at all! At the same time, I do not think this film deserves a universal opinion, because I can see why some people might like it. I just wish that I would have liked it. Maybe my warning will help mold different expectations for any readers who have yet to see the film. I give Noah 2.36 out of 5 stars.

Great Expectations: April 2014

Easter is fast approaching, and I just couldn't resist sharing my favorite Easter meme, regardless of how sad it may be that I have a favorite Easter meme. So, there ya go!

Thankfully, this April, we are blessed with what is sure to be one of the biggest blockbusters of 2014. Of course, I'm talking about A Haunted House 2 Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Considering that April is an odd month for a superhero film to be released, it got me thinking about Disney's strategy, and I've come to the conclusion that the Disney folks realize they have the power to release any film with the word "Marvel" attached to it at ANY time of the year, without sacrificing any bit of success. Maybe the Disney folks are just flaunting their power. Maybe they wanted to leave a fair amount of time between Captain America and Guardians of the Galaxy. Maybe they just drew a random weekend out of a hat. Regardless, I'm going to make a prediction that will one day make me quotable... The "summer" movie season will begin in April, starting around 2016. That's right, folks... No time for carrots and egg-hunting, we will have to go to the movies. I mean, think about how many sequels will have built up by that time. Where are they going to go? Batman v. Superman and Captain America 3 cannot be forced to occupy the same weekend, and people are sick of summer flicks by the end of August. So, April will soon be engulfed with blockbuster superhero films and unnecessary comedy sequels. Mark my words... It's happening, people...

Unfortunately, this April looks like it will be a month filled with rentals. So, enjoy Captain America!

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

(April 4)