The Hangover Part III

Expectations:
If there is one thing that I've heard too much of over the past couple of years, it's people complaining about The Hangover Part II. I'm sorry, but I don't understand how people could not like it! Those characters in those situations create absolute hilarity, regardless of how original the storyline is. In my opinion, raw, R-rated comedies, like The Hangover, are meant to do ONE THING... make you laugh. While watching The Hangover Part II, you may not have had a huge, life-changing moment, but I have a good feeling that you did laugh. Was Part II as good as the original? Absolutely not! But, nothing is!!!! People just need to learn how to be content. So, needless to say, while everyone else was hoping for a franchise turnaround with The Hangover Part III, I was just hoping for more of the same.

Plot:
Congratulations, folks! You got what you freakin wanted! In an attempt to appease the masses, Todd Phillips and company threw out everything from the past two films and started from scratch. If you don't want to see The Hangover Part III because you are worried about having to watch more of the same from the last two films, fret not. In what was meant to be "Allen's story," it turned out to be "the wolfpack chases Chow," and, with the focus on Allen, the laughs were sparing on the parts of Phil and Stu, which kind of sucked. In my opinion, the story would have been more interesting if they had just stuck with the same old wedding adventure from parts I and II, but, instead, they attempted to create something new and completely failed.

Characters:
If you've seen either of the first two films, you know that these characters are absolutely great, and I have a great amount of love for them all. However, in Part III, the characters were not given a chance to do their thing. Stu (Ed Helms) and Phil (Bradley Cooper) took a backseat to everything and really had no dog in the fight at all. After the success that Bradley Cooper has had over the past few years, I'm surprised that he agreed to do this film in which he barely matters but is always there. Of course Allen (Zach Galifianakis) was hilarious, but I think he is getting a little less funny at this point. Also, he changes a lot during the film, which does not fit the character that we have all grown to love.

Negatives:
After his small, hilarious turn in the first Hangover film, I think it is safe to say that Ken Jeong's Chow has been over-utilized at this point. I won't spoil anything, but Chow had too large of a role in a film that was supposed to be a swan song to the wolfpack. On top of that, what made him relevant was the addition of John Goodman's Marshall, who I didn't find the least bit intimidating or interesting. Finally, Mike Epps's "Black Doug" made a disappointing return in the film. Epps brought many laughs in the first film, but he was just too serious this time around.

Positives:
Maybe I'm already suffering from Office nostalgia, but I really thought Ed Helms did a great job of bringing the laughs in Part III. Without the crazy, wedding night "demons" that Stu had faced before, I was wondering if he was going to bore the audience in this film. But, when he was given a chance, I think he made me laugh more than anyone else, so kudos! The only other character that I really loved was Grant Holmquist's Tyler. Of course, the last time we saw Tyler, he had recently had his named changed from Carlos, which fits him better anyway. That scene with Holmquist and Heather Graham was quite impressive and probably the high point of the entire film for me.

Conclusion:
I was quite disappointed in how the wolfpack went out in The Hangover Part III. Not only was the story quite dull, but the laughs were few and far between. The Hangover began the craze of over-the-top, hardcore, raunchy comedies that have been coming our way for the past six years, and that's what made it so great. Unfortunately, there was a lack of raunchiness and laughter throughout this film. It was as if they were trying to end the trilogy on a serious note, and it just fell oh so short of succeeding. I'm pretty sure that everyone will say that the post-credits scene is their favorite, and that scene is the only real over-the-top, Hangover-esque scene in the entire film. If this film had come along before Part II, people would have begged Todd Phillips to return to his original formula that he used to create the first two films. To all of you who begged for something different, you got it! Now, as I go to my grave with disgust toward the final installment in The Hangover trilogy, I won't blame Todd Phillips or the cast. Instead, I will blame the millions who moaned and groaned about the second film. Because IT WAS FUNNY!!!! I give The Hangover Part III 2.11 out of 5 stars and apologize for this great rant.

The Notscars 2011

Well, I hate to say it, but 2011 was a rather crappy year for movies. 2010 was one of the best in a while, but I guess they just couldn't keep up the good work. Obviously, I don't watch the movies that I believe look dumb, so it is hard for me to give an accurate list of the worst of 2011, but this is my attempt. You can consider this more of a "most surprisingly bad" movies list, considering I wouldn't have watched if I didn't expect a little something good. Nevertheless, here is the worst in 2011 movies. They are listed from pretty bad to awful (#1 being the worst).

Worst Actress in a Drama or Comedy


#5 - Kristen Stewart (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I)

I know there are some Twilight fans that read my blog, and I'm sorry if this upsets you. Kristen Stewart is not a good actor. I firmly believe that Robert Pattinson has a very bright future, but Stewart is an awkward person in an awkward role. She fits, but she doesn't shine. In this movie even more so than the first three, she just didn't impress me. She probably doesn't make a worst list for any of the other Twilight movies, but this one was bad for her.



#4 - Blake Lively (Green Lantern)

Firstly, Blake Lively shouldn't have brown hair. Secondly, she should stick to her ditsy Gossip Girl roles. She can't even act like she has a good amount of intelligence. Thirdly, she isn't at all to blame for Green Lantern sucking. She just sucked alongside a sucky movie.





#3 - Leighton Meester (The Roommate)

Meester is certainly a young, annoying actress that really needs some coaching, but this was just rediculous. I'm not a huge fan of scary movies, but I have seen at least 100 that were better than this film. Meester was just the icing on a rotten cake. It probably wasn't all her fault, but she is getting the blame from me.



#2 - Lucy Punch (Bad Teacher)

You might think that Cameron Diaz deserves the blame for Bad Teacher sucking so bad, and you would be right. But we can't forget about Lucy Punch, who was probably just as awful as Diaz. Punch was hilarious in Dinner for Schmucks in 2010, but she just couldn't quite pull this role off. I don't know what the problem was, but there certainly was a problem.

#1 - Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher)

Wow! This movie was awful. And who better to pin it on than the lead actress herself. I must admit that I'm not a huge Cameron Diaz fan in the first place, but I really thought this movie was going to be good. Unfortunately, it was absolutely horrible. Earning Diaz the award of worst actress in 2011!






Worst Actor in a Drama or Comedy


#6 - Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Moneyball)

Phillip Seymour Hoffman has the ability to play one of the widest ranges of characters, from Capote to the crazy guy in Twister. Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to play a Major League Baseball manager. This has to be one of his worst roles ever. He was just an awkward and unnecessary part of a great movie.




#5 - Ken Jeong (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

What a funny man, and what a waste! I absolutely love all things Transformers, even through critics hate the movies. Unfortunately, Jeong's character was rediculously unnecessary and hopelessly stupid. Made me want to make a face like Mr. Wittwicky's here. Just go watch The Hangover if you want to feel better about him.






#4 - Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)

I am certainly not a kid, so maybe I missed the punchline with Azaria, but I doubt it. He wasn't funny. He was annoying. Kids go to movies to laugh, and I heard very little laughter when Azaria was on screen. Oh well.






#3 - Ian McShane (Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides)

Ian McShane is one of the scariest men to look at in the entire world!!! I have nightmares of getting into a staring match with him. Add to that, Blackbeard is just a scary pirate name, regardless of who plays him. However, Blackbeard was very very very not frightening, and there is no one to blame but McShane himself. It's just unfortunate. That's all.




#2 - Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I)

Sorry girls, but it's just awful. I thought maybe he would get better as time passed, but I'm afraid there may be no hope for Lautner. I have provided a naked picture of him, in order to make you feel better about my harsh comments. At least he is only next to worst!






#1 - Patrick Dempsey (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

Once again, Mr. Wittwicky's face perfectly describes my emotions: "Why is he even here????". Transformers would have been twenty times better if McDreamy would have stayed at home. Nobody understands Michael Bay, but this move was ridiculous. Unfortunately for Dempsey, this role will grab him my award for Worst Actor of 2011!



Worst Picture


#6
The Tree of Life

I truly and honestly HATE! to admit that I am at any fault in basically any situation. I will argue with anybody until they realize that I am right (usually they just get sick of arguing and walk away). With that being said, The Tree of Life blew my freakin mind. I didn't understand anything that was going on. The movie has gotten great reviews and has a chance for a best picture nomination, so I figured I didn't need to miss out. I tried so hard to comprehend the stupid thing, but it just wasn't happening. While I am an average guy, I usually don't mind the "critic's choice" type movies. Sure The Social Network should have won best picture last year, but The King's Speech was fantastic, regardless of what you think. Even with my patience and brains and appreciation for good movies, I had zero clue what was going on in this stupid stupid film.


#5
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I

For one of her Christmas presents, I agreed to watch Breaking Dawn with my girlfriend, who had been begging me to go. As a kind gesture, I didn't write a review on the movie, in order to avoid upsetting the fans of the Twilight movies. However, when I sat down and compared all of the movies I have seen this year, it was necessary to include this film on my list of worsts. While I have previously dogged the acting a bit, the real issue can be boiled down to one single problem: they should have made just one movie for the last book. As I sat there watching, I just couldn't believe how drawn out the entire thing was. I mean, COME ON! It was like 30 minutes of wedding, then 30 minutes of honeymoon, then an hour of pregnancy! If you cut those times in half, you come up with one hour, which gives you plenty of time to add the rest of the info from the last book. If they had made one movie for the last book, it probably (more like possibly) wouldn't find itself on this list.



#4
The Smurfs

As I said in my review of this film, I am a huge fan of the classic Smurf cartoons, so I felt obligated to go watch this movie. As I sat in the theater, I quickly realized how obligations often suck. This movie was so very far from funny! It was just plain awful. I can't remember a single good thing about it. Maybe the little kids loved it, but I just highly doubt anybody in their right mind could have enjoyed any portion of this movie. I didn't hear much laughter from the kids, and laughter is traditionally how you measure whether a kid enjoys a movie. They don't care about plot structure! I just hope these kids are given a chance to watch the old cartoons, so they can really know what The Smurfs are all about.




#3
Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides

When I heard they were making a fourth Pirates movie, I immediately knew it was gonna suck. The Curse of the Black Pearl is my favorite movie of all time. There is no telling how many times I have watched it. When you watch the first three movies, you long for more and more Jack Sparrow, because he is obviously what makes the movies. So you would think he would be ok without Elizabeth and Will to balance his idiocy. Unfortunately, he was not. There was too much Jack Sparrow, and none of the additional cast was good enough to correct the issues. As you saw already, i was not impressed with Ian McShane in the villain role, and they made Barbosa a good guy? What is wrong with these people???? While I'm sure they will continue to ruin the franchise, this guy knew ahead of time that they should have stopped while they were ahead.



#2
Bad Teacher

So you would expect that an R-rated comedy with the word BAD in it would be rather vulgar, perhaps just downright ridiculous. You would think that kids would be cursing left and right and the whole movie would consist of Cameron Diaz washing her car in that skimpy outfit. Well, if you expected these things, you would not win the prize with Bad Teacher. I just don't understand how this movie could be soooooo bad. It seems like such a great idea, and the cast was fantastic! Ahhh! I hate it when good ideas are wasted, and Bad Teacher is one great idea that went right down the crapper. They should have really just called the movie BAD, because that's all it was.


#1 (Worst of the Worst)
Green Lantern

In brightest day...... Green Lantern sucks. In darkest night...... Green Lantern sucks. In the in between of dusk and dawn....... Green Lantern continues to massively, perpetually SUCK. If you haven't seen this movie, I almost have to hold back the urge to tell you to watch it. If I had to suffer through it, then so should you. Originally, I was so so very excited about this movie. The costume looked cool. Ryan Reynolds is funny yet manly enough to be a superhero. Peter Sarsgaard is as scary as a bad guy can be. Plus, Blake Lively is smoking hot. I mean, this movie had so much going for it! Then I saw the trailer, and my expectations dropped from high to hopeful. Maybe they are just holding back on the good stuff, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, they held back on the good stuff for the entire length of the film. Let me give you three reasons why Green Lantern is the worst movie of 2011. #1- Too much CGI. The suit was never actually a suit. It was always digital. Reynolds probably wandered around the set naked through the entire filming process. Also, the secondary characters were as real as the smurfs. Actually, the smurfs probably would have done a better job. #2- The storyline was awful. Nobody could have possibly given a crap about Ryan Reynolds in the amount of time they used to introduce him. He was supposed to be getting this sort of "second chance," yet we never knew he had a first chance. #3- (This is the big one) The movie was WAAAAAY too short. They spent almost an hour and a half setting up the story by explaining who Hal Jordan was and who the green lanterns were. Then there was like two seconds of action where the Green Lantern was struggling to defeat the evil bad guy. Then, as a "great finale," he does what he should have done at the beginning of the two seconds in order to defeat evil bad guy. That's pretty much it. I can only hope that next year doesn't feature as many just plain awful films. At least none that are as bad as Green Lantern.


Here is a list of movies that I deemed too dumb to watch in 2011. These movies would probably be joining the worst list if I had watched them:

• Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star
• Shark Night
• Real Steel
• Cowboys & Aliens
• Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
• Sucker Punch
• Larry Crowne
• Conan the Barbarian
• Change-Up
• Abduction
• Footloose
• Happy Feet Two
• Jack & Jill
• The Darkest Hour

***To everyone who has been discouraged by the results of The Notscars, please do not be sad. In a few weeks, I will give you a list of the best in movies from 2011. Keep checking in over the next month for that list plus new reviews!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Expectations:
The original Transformers movie is one of the greatest movies of all time, and, although many disagree, I also loved the second movie. There was certainly a drop off of greatness following the first film, but it wasn't as bad as the "official" critics make it out to be. Everyone wondered whether the third film in the series would be more like the first film or the second. I was more interested in how Michael Bay was going to wrap things up, with the expectations being that this will be the final film in the series. I really wanted to see some major characters killed off. I have an emotional connection to the Transformers and knew this would probably be my only chance of crying at a movie this summer, so I wanted it! Could we please cry at the farewell of Bumblebee like we did at the farewell of Andy in Toy Story 3 last summer? Well you will have to watch to find out (In 3D!!!).

Plot:
If you desire something realistic then you shouldn't be watching Transformers, but I must say that the tie-in with the moon landing really made the story get off to a good, relatable start. I was also glad that Michael Bay went ahead and explained the moon landing deal before anything else, because that was basically all that we were told in the trailers. The storyline was much more basic than the second movie, which made it much better. There were a few twists and turns, but there was no bringing people back to life five times at the end of the movie like there was in the second movie. With the plot being so simple, many parts were a bit predictable and repetitive, but it wasn't too much to bear. The coolest part was the fact that they finally showed how quickly the Transformers could destroy an entire city. It was finally the gigantic amount of destruction that I have longed for. There is really so much more that I want to say but don't want to ruin the movie for anyone.

Characters:
I liked what they did with the characters for the most part. Sam was sort of caught in a "welcome to the real world" moment and felt under appreciated. This really made me connect with him early on, but I think they clung to that a bit much. There were a few robots that were missing from the second movie, and no explanation was given about where they might have gone (unless I missed it). Optimus had a new trailer that he was a bit too dependent on, considering he did not have the trailer in the first two films. The big question with the characters was how would Rosie Huntington-Whiteley do in the place of Megan Fox. I personally thought she was good but not great. I didn't really miss Megan Fox, but, at the same time I wasn't amazed by the new girl. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese were extremely good, and their characters were brought in extremely well. I thought they kind of seemed a bit awkward in the second movie. Simmons has a love connection that was predictable but really turned out to be fun to watch. Sam's parents, who were too involved in the second movie, also matured with Sam but brought on some laughs as usual. John Malkovich was amazing but gone too soon. Patrick Dempsey was absolutely USELESS!

*New Addition to the Blog:
Best Character: Dutch, played by Alan Tudyk (A Knight's Tale), was a great new addition to the cast as Simmons's agent or something. He was hilarious and was given just enough screentime.

Worst Character: Jerry Wang, played by Ken Jeong (The Hangover), was the stupidest character (barely beating out Patrick Dempsey). It just seemed like an excuse to get Ken Jeong in the movie, and the laughs didn't seem to flow out of the audience as you might expect.

Conclusion:
Before I sum up my emotions, I want to endorse the watching of this movie in 3D. Aside from Avatar, I have never enjoyed the 3D aspects, but this movie made me a believer once again. The problem is that most 3D movies will not be this well made, so enjoy it while you can. Now for my real opinion on this movie: it was amazing. I remember when the first Transformers movie came out and someone had to convince me to go watch it because I thought it would be stupid. Boy was I wrong. I didn't get the tears I was hoping for unfortunately, but oh well. I do think the end could have been a bit sadder. A couple of characters are killed off, but I think the timing was bad, and there should have been more killed off. The ending was a good send off that was abrupt compared to the lagging ending of the first two films. The characters were good for the most part, and the story really showed how much history and emotion the Autobots carry around with them. I love the Transformers series and will miss these guys so so much. 3.95 out of 5 stars.