Monday, February 20, 2012
This Means War
Honestly, I only went to see This Means War because my lovely girlfriend wanted to go for Valentine's Day. No normal human could make me watch a movie that I didn't want to, but she is special. She is the best thing ever in the entire world, and our love is exactly like the love you see in all those magnificently romantic movies! I just can't explain, in words, exactly how much I love her!!!!!.... Wooh Wooh Wooh!!! Wait a second!!!!.... I greatly apologize readers! That was the romantic comedy tugging at the strings of my heart! The truth is that I am not a huge Reese Witherspoon fan; therefore, I didn't expect this movie to really impress me very much. It's just not my type of movie (THANK GOD!), but you never know when a rom com might sneak up and be good.
Well, I will start with the positive. I actually laughed a good bit! Witherspoon's presence didn't absolutely disgust me, so the film was actually way more bearable than I expected. The general idea of the plot was pretty good, but the execution was absolutely horrible. The filmmakers went for this strange, CIA-themed, action feel, and it did everything except work. I almost felt like it was a spoof film most of the time. The only parts that weren't completely out there were when they were doing super romantic stuff. I'm not kidding when I say this, but there was actually a bad guy! Yes, you heard correctly... a bad guy! Like Batman's Joker, Sparrow's Barbosa, Woody's Sid, Optimus's Megatron. Now introducing... Heinrich! America's new scary bad guy. I'm sorry to joke about this, but I honestly struggled to take the movie seriously, due only to these awkward moments with Heirich. His being added in the plot really ruined any hope that this movie ever had of being great.
Best Scene: Pretty much any scene where Witherspoon's Lauren was working. She had the coolest job ever. Go watch to see what it is (or google it).
As I said before, I am not a fan of Reese Witherspoon. Personally, I just think she is a below average actor, who always acts exactly the same. I must say, however, Reese was a good fit for the role of Lauren. She did still act the same, but it worked in this situation. FDR and Tuck, played by Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, were a little bit over the top, due to the aforementioned action-CIA issue, but, even with the issues, I did a laugh a good bit at them. What made this movie unique was the fact that there was no obvious choice as to which guy she was going to choose. Both FDR and Tuck had almost equal screen time, which made it very difficult to figure out which guy she was going to end up with.
Best Character: Trish, played by Chelsea Handler, was by far the most hilarious character, as Handler did nothing but act like her usual self. I think Handler is one of the crudest women in the world (as she challenges Lisa Lampanelli for the title), but her crudeness is absolutely hilarious. Hopefully we will see her in more films in the future.
Worst Character: As I said before, the inclusion of a bad guy was absolutely ridiculous, so, of course, I have to give the worst character honor to Heinrich, played by Til Schweiger. Heinrich just brought this awkward awfulness to the movie, and it just kind of pissed me off.
While I did point out the negatives rather harshly, This Means War did provide many laughs, and, I must say, I wasn't as disgusted as I thought I would be. The coolest thing was the fact that I had no clue which guy she was going to pick, until it actually happened. Usually, it is rather simple to figure out exactly what is going to happen in any rom com, so this was a nice surprise. The characters all had good. funny parts, aside from Heinrich. At the end of the day, I certainly suggest This Means War for you ladies out there, and, to the men, don't be afraid like me. I give This Means War 2.22 out of 5 stars, and praise the Lord above that I didn't have to watch The Vow!!!
P.S.: My girlfriend is as awesome as I said