The Notscars 2012

While 2012 got off to a pretty rocky start movie-wise, the end of the year was quite good, which made it difficult to really come up with a whole list of the worst of 2012. Also, this year, I've done a much better job of picking movies to watch that I know I will enjoy. So, unlike last year, I'm not going to list everything out categorically. Instead, I'm going to give out some random awards to various actors, actresses, and movies. These awards are meant to be funny, so please laugh, if only to make me feel accomplished!

The Stupid Avenger
Chris Hemsworth - The Avengers

Worst Steve Carell Movie EVER
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Forgot How to Act
Anna Kendrick - Pitch Perfect/What to Expect When You're Expecting














Worst Five Performances in One Movie
Tom Hanks - Cloud Atlas

Finally Picked a Bad Role
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Lincoln

Waste of Funny
Jason Sudeikis - The Campaign

Sings WAY Worse Than Russell Crowe
Paul Giamatti - Rock of Ages

Twilight Was Ten Times Better Than You
Snow White and the Huntsman

Worst Sideburns/Beard Ever
Wes Bentley - The Hunger Games

Worst Performance of the Year
Cobie Smulders - The Avengers

Worst Film of the Year
What to Expect When You're Expecting

What to Expect When You're Expecting

Expectations:
Honestly, I thought this movie was going to be one of the funniest of the summer. There are a ton of hilarious jokes and happenings that can revolve around pregnancy, and we all know it. As I said with The Avengers, it was obvious that there were going to be many, many major characters, which is a huge risk to take with any movie. While all of these characters had potential, I was truly looking forward to seeing the dads group (led by Chris Rock). The previews, obviously meant to suck men into an otherwise female-led comedy, were quite funny when the dads group was present. What to Expect was a great idea with a lot of potential, but there was also a lot of potential for FAILURE...

Plot:
Let's just call it "lacking," for lack of a better negative adjective. There was absolutely NOOOO flow to the film at all, which really led to a bunch of confusing, emotional moments that made me want to kill myself. One second we would be laughing and carrying on, then, suddenly, it was like the saddest movie you could ever watch. On top of the confusion, there was really very little to tie the various storylines together. Usually movies with many stars will bring those stars together in some way, but that wasn't the case with this film. Everybody did have some connection; however, the connection was usually completely pointless and small. There just wasn't any clear plot, which usually means that the whole movie just sucks.

Characters:
This is the segment of this review where I have to be very careful. While I have hated a fair amount on the movie so far, I do believe that there were some very funny and great characters in this film. If you would have taken any one or two of the thousands of pregnancy stories that made up this film and made a separate movie with only those stories, the movie would have been much funnier and successful. You just couldn't really enjoy the time given to one couple, because you knew that the time would soon run out. However, I don't have much criticism for the actors in this film (except for Cameron Diaz, who I just can't stand in general). The dads group was hilarious. The relationship between Ramsey (Dennis Quaid) and Gary (Ben Falcone) made for many laughs and an emotional moment. Elizabeth Banks was rather funny just by herself. The problem lied in the fact that there was just too much going on.

Best Character: Craig, played by Thomas Lennon, was undoubtedly my favorite character. It may be because the character was great, but it very well could be because I think that Thomas Lennon is one of the funniest men on the planet. Also, a shoutout to Rebel Wilson for being so dern funny/ugly!

Worst Character: Move on over Cameron Diaz! She should be ashamed that she wasn't the worst. I have to, unfortunately, give the worst honor to Anna Kendrick's Rosie, who was just bad. Normally Kendrick is one of my favorite actresses, but she just didn't have it for this one.

Conclusion:
It's fairly simple: DON'T GO!!! I can see where some girls might enjoy the sappy sad parts of the film, but, other than that, there isn't much to it. If I were you and I really wanted to see the movie, I would rent it at the Redbox and fast forward to the dads' club scenes. Those really are the only memorably good scenes of the film. Particularly when Chris Rock's kid is getting kicked in the head with a ball or something. This was just one of those star-studded films with no storyline, and I must admit that I get excited when said films struggle at the box office like this movie did. Stars don't deserve to be paid billions for acting for a day and a half just so their name can be thrown in the hat. Movies like these hold back the future of Hollywood, and that disappoints me. I give What to Expect When You're Expecting 2.01 out of 5 stars.

Great Expectations: May 2012

Summer movies are finally here! Although I am excited about many movies over the summer months, I will try to limit Great Expectations to my top three for each month. If you will come to the movie theater at midnight on May 3rd, I will be signing autographs (ha ha just kidding!). I will be there for the midnight premiere of The Avengers, however. Come join me and be an important part of the first big summer movie of 2012! And enjoy these trailers:

1. The Avengers (May 4th)

2. The Dictator (May 16th)

3. What to Expect When You're Expecting (May 18th)

Summer Preview: 2012

Hello to all! It is finally that time of year. Time for summer movies!!!!!!! Now, if you are a movie freak like I am, you understand my excitement, and you can't wait for midnight May 3rd!!! (The Avengers). If you aren't excited, then I invite you to become excited very, very soon, because the time has come.

Just so you know, I deem the summer months (for movies) May, June, July, and August. So, as you read what I have to say, you can realize what time range I am covering here. Last year, as I have said before, was a disappointing year for movies. Looking back on what I expected heading into last summer, I realize that my expectations may have been a bit high. Last year, there was at least one movie coming out that I wanted to see on each and every weekend from the first of May to the first of August. That alone is just crazy. It also shows you how many movies I tend to want to watch. However, looking forward to the upcoming summer months, I just don't have THAT many movies that I want to see. That means that there are only three or four each month that I want to see (rather than last year's thirty a month).

I don't know why, but I just don't feel like this summer is full of big hits. Certainly, there are great movies coming out that are sure to make loads of cash and be seen by almost everyone--TWICE. Might I interest you in some Dark Knight Rises or some Avengers or maybe even some Spiderman? These films are going to blow the box office away, but, when you look beyond these three super-hero films, there aren't many big films to get excited about. There are movies that I am going to want to see, and there are movies that you are going to want to see. The problem lies in the lack of movies that EVERYONE is going to want to see. Last year, there were tons of HUGE movies. There was Transformers 3, Cars 2, The Hangover 2, Thor, Pirates 4, Captain America, Bridesmaids, The Help, and, of course, Harry Potter. All of these movies were so, so big, and there just aren't that many summer movies (aside from the three mentioned above) that are going to be super huge. Or at least that is what I think. Here are a few lists of movies that contain my predictions for the summer of 2012. Hope you enjoy:

Highest Expectations
3. The Amazing Spiderman (July 3)

2. Prometheus (June 8)

1. The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)

Lowest Expectations
3. Men in Black III (May 25)

2. Battleship (May 18)

1. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29)

Funniest Expectations
3. What to Expect When You're Expecting (May 18)

2. The Dictator (May 16)

1. Ted (July 13)

Cha-Chingiest Expectations
3. The Amazing Spiderman (July 3)

















2. The Avengers (May 4)

1. The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)

Check in frequently to see what reviews are up! There will likely be one or two new reviews each and every week during the summer, so don't miss them!